Polite Way To Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

Michael said, ‘Just a minute I have to go pee.’

The teacher responded by saying, ‘That would be rude and impolite.’

What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?

Sherman said, ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.

That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Stevie, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

I would say, ‘Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

Sent by: Thangaraj

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work,
but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then
he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker asked me what I was doing?
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb
so that the Boss would
think I have gone "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office
and asked "What are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out.
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".
I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker followed me,
the Boss asked her



"...And where do you think you're going?"

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( You're gonna love this..... )
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She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!




Sent by : Jitin

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Letter of complaint on corporate

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., - "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. , - "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., - "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., - "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they lay off the night watchman. Theme of the story: "Current Situation In IT industries"

Last Evacuation Drill...

In a XYZ Office -

A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees are in office(approx 10,000). As usual entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every employee gathered outside office.

10 mins passed..................................

5 more mins passed .

Security Officer - Announcement started,

"Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee.

While moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are lay off & all their belongings will be couriered to them tomorrow.

We followed this approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office".

Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck !!!! .

Sent by: Thiru